Today I head up to good 'ol Eau Claire. and I am excited! The place that I have called home for the last 2 and a half years. Yesterday my good friend Ben texted me; "Isaac you home broski?" . And as I laugh as I retype that, its meaning is true. Eau Claire is definitely a home to me. It's been nice to be resting at home with the fam, and travelling around, but its time to go! Here's a list of things! This semester I am thrilled. . . -to be back living in Towers. I have grown used to cooking food everyday and enjoying a lot of solitary time on hobbies, but i have a hope that it'll be oddly refreshing to wander around dorm rooms, living so close to friends and strangers. -to be back in prayer with my bros. Last semester, every Wednesday a bunch of the towers south guys got together to pray. I've missed that. -to be running every week. Bring on half-marathon training! I'm even in a Saturday 8am class for it...how crazy is that! -to be back living in the IV Community. This one is close to the first one. But different. I've been so blessed to be around so many awesome people who are seeking the Lord. I look forward to growing with and because of many of them! -to be tutoring/working with kiddos at the middle school through Blugold Beginnings. I've took a semester off work, but I'm excited. -to be working at Towers Front Desk. Always wanted to do it. Now is the time. -my schedule is going to look a whole like Aaron Mader's. I'm pumped to spend a lot of good time with that dude. -it will be such a fantastic gift to be in the same building as Anna again. I'm so blessed by that adventurous girl. She is sweet joy! I am super pumped for wednesday craft nights with her. That is finally a thing! -to hopefully be hanging out with Logan Koerten a whole lot more! -for the adventure of 8ams and a busy schedule. Bring it on! - to walk across the bridge everyday. some people think its too cold or that HSS is too far away. the bridge is the best part of campus. - to hang with my room-mate paul. especially for bible study with dave and the floor bros. - that i can finally attend all of InterVarsity large group each night. be gone night class. and i can finally invite a bunch of dudes! - for the second floor of Davies - to connect with all of my friends who have new awesome news...especially those friends newly engaged! - for Nate Cooley. I miss that guy. - to be a more open vessel for loving people - to talk through The Ragamuffin Gospel with Moose - to see God move beyond my expectations, to be shaped to be more like Him throughout the semester. He is faithful. Holla! This is gonna be one sweet semester! hello friends!
i'm still reading The Raggamuffin Gospel. and i would love to say it's still rocking my socks. but for some reason its not. its a great read, don't get me wrong. but i think there's a problem. and i think that problem is me. i'll explain. first, i'll give ya some of Brennan Mannings words. they are exactly how i am feeling this week; getting ready to go back to school, while attempting to get myself ready before God (which in itself doesn't work, a process I've been learning about over break). (in context of the parable of the prodigal son, Luke 15. read it quick it you need a refresher/haven't heard it ! ) "For me, the most touching verse in the entire Bible is the father's response [to the son coming home after wasting his inheritance]; 'while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with pity. He ran to the boy, clasped him in his arms and kissed him' (Luke 15:20). I am moved that the father didn't cross examine the boy, bully him, lecture him on ingratitude, or insist on any high motivation. He was so overjoyed at the sight of his son that he ignored all the canons of prudence and parental discretion and simply welcomed him home. The father took him back as he was. What a word of encouragement, consolation and comfort! We don't have to sift out hearts and analyze our intentions before returning home. Abba just wants us to show up. We don't have to tarry at a tavern until purity of heart arrives. We don't have to be shredded with sorrow or crushed with contrition. We don't have to be perfect or even very good before God will accept us. We don't have to wallow in guilt, shame, remorse and self-condemnation. Even if we still nurse a secret nostalgia for the far country, Abba falls on our neck and kisses us. " (p.189) I remember hearing the story of 'the lost son' a lot growing up. I remember hearing it cited in sermons, and told in stories at church, bible studies and at camp. If you haven't read it or don't remember what its about, open up to Luke 15 and read all of it. Many times that I've been exposed to this story that Jesus is telling, it has been so easy for me to hear/read it, receive it, and walk away from it. 'The Lost Son' is the perfect picture of God's unbelievable, raw, and sloppily-stupid Love shown through perfect grace and mercy. I know that. But for one reason or another, I cannot get it. I think this story that Jesus tells does not 'hit' me because I do not fully believe it. It often seems too good to be true. but I want to fully believe it. For some reason it is so easy for me to forget that the God Almighty is enamored by me. That He cherishes me. That He truly desires for me to be in true relationship with Him . . . that what he desires is my heart. In the past few days I have felt distant from God. A recent challenge that i have for myself is that I don't want my circumstances, emotions, or how I am feeling in a moment, to determine how I see God, what is true about Him, or what is true about me. That's a big thing I struggle with. Yet this distance that I feel between me and God iis one that I know I have created. My human heart often gets things backwards- it's a lie that we will feel more free, more rested, more alive when we are apart from God. In fact, it is the opposite. What a word of encouragement, consolation and comfort! We don't have to sift out hearts and analyze our intentions before returning home. Abba just wants us to show up. We don't have to tarry at a tavern until purity of heart arrives. It's taken a day or so to realize, but I have been attempting to prepare myself before The God of Love. I have not trusted how faithful and how loving His arms are. This happens a lot to all of us. The words of the Prodigal Son are fantastic. God accepts each of us after our waywardness. God wants to wrap His arms around us! God is in love with us! Is that hard to believe? I think it is. and for the best way possible. For me, the prodigal son a reminder of how much I do not understand God's Love. Who is this God that desires to be close to me, to hug and to kiss me after I have walked, or ran away from Him? What kind of Father waits at the edge of the property, waiting for his long lost son to come home, even after he has wasted all of His father's riches? What kind of Father runs to his weary son, does not even allow for the son's excuses, yet embraces him, gives him good clothes and throws him the biggest party around? What kind of Love is this? This is our God. Because of Jesus I get to live as a son of this Father God today. How crazy is that ! ! It is crazy. And something that I forget too easily. Our Lord is magnificent beyond belief. Lord Jesus, would I come to understand your grace more and more. Your ways are beyond the peripheral of my imagination. Give me more and more gratitude for your unbelievable grace, and your sweet, great Love. i've had quite the restful slew of days.
i've been pretty thankful for chances that i have been able to be at home over break. it's almost always the same: i feel an inclination to have lists of projects and activities to complete, to make my time feel more worth it. however, recently it has been different. i've felt oddly productive each day, even days that i have not been doing too much. it's been sweet. i've taken my hand to some woodworking, running each couple of days in my training for the EC half marathon, taking joy in preparing food and cooking, playing guitar, remembering to stick to my bible-in-a-year reading plan, and just plain hanging out. what i have realized is that my mindset has been different, which has made things feel pretty free. the miracle is that i haven't felt worried about getting things done (which, spoiler alert, has literally never happened before). thanks God. what has been different is that more and more i've been okay with just siting still. that's it. not needing some new music i found to be floating in the background, not needing to veg-out to something on netflix, not needing to feel guilty about not finishing all the books i've wanted to read over break. just being able to rest in one place without needing to do anything. really resting. and i want to get better at this because i think its a pretty sweet way to worship God. i've been getting better at what i would call just being. i think it's Bob Goff who says it the most simply in his book Love Does: we are not human doings, we are human beings. last week i had an awesome chance to spend a week with some of my best friends up in Ontario (scroll down for more details!). i stayed on an old camp mattress they rolled out for me, and i had the blessing to be part of their life for a week. one morning i woke up to realize that everyone was out of the house- either at work or at school. i had no plans; the day was mine. i spent the first few hours making some food, washing dishes, accidentally cleaning their house due to boredom, and some reading. i knew i had to take advantage of a full, silent, house. it was perfect to rest. so i got some time to read, had a quiet time with my Bible, yet i started getting antsy. the house felt really quiet. and the same feeling crept in that i feel time and time again: i felt like i had to do something. for some odd reason i felt like i needed an achievement of the day. so i went on a walk. After 5 minutes from their house, i felt only what i can describe as a nudge. often i am so in my own world that i do not give space to acknowledge the Living God. (i'm usually 'busy' thinking or working or doing things.) yet it was in that moment that the Spirit was making it clear to me what i was leaving. and it was something along the lines of: you have space here to rest, rest with me. don't walk away from something good i've placed before you. for a semester at school living in the busy dorms, with a constant social and academic workload hanging over my head, i dreamt of just a single day of quiet to rest well. and here i was, literally walking away from an empty house that was just perfect for some true rest with the Lord. now in no way was God unable to rest with me on the rest of my walk, He can do whatever He wants. but it was then that i realized that my Jesus had been/was/is preparing time for me to rest. and not just rest from a workload so that i can jump back at it. but some deep rest spent close to Him. remembering who He is. remembering who I am because of Him. moments this winter break that have been the most precious and restul have been those when i have sat still, pushed away distractions, and asked Jesus to help me delight in his rest. i don't need anything else in that moment but Him. i want to stop walking away from His rest. i want to get better at sitting still. He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' Psalm 46:10 had a great chance to adventure with a good man today. with cold faces mark and I walked through the woods, shared joyful talk and took on the falls together. really thankful for this dude. he's got some good words and a unique heart bent towards Jesus.
i've found different parts of this song going in and out of my head this week. enjoy, friends. i want to grow.
this has been one of my main desires this week. problem is, i feel like i don't know how. last night i went with mark and trevor to their bi-weekly home church community. it is a group of 12 or so 20-something men and women who live in Hamilton, living and meeting in community to strengthen themselves closer to the Lord's Spirit. being with them last night was super encouraging. for 2 hours the group shared stories, hopes of vision for the community, testimonies, desires of prayer, and encouragement for others. people shared about how they wanted to listen to the Spirit more intentionally, how others wanted to be bold in asking for signs and wonders from God so that others may believe in him more fully, others were honest about the difficulties of showing love or sharing faith. hands were laid to encourage and pray for others.i sensed a bubbling desire from many individuals of just wanting more from Jesus. and i trust He will give...because He is very generous. many of these folks i know well or at least recognize from camp or i've met in Hamilton. mark shared with me earlier that he and others had felt like the group had been 'divinely appointed,' as a group that was working on the spring crew at camp, continued to meet together, continued to live together in an encouraging community through out the year. i believed him. and i felt it. and i saw it. there was an atmosphere that was unique last night. men and women sharing conversation, laughs, prayer. i felt such a presence of freedom, genuine-ness, and joy. praise to the God of Love. as I sit here reflecting on my exposure to that group last night, i wonder if i am feeling what many people who have not met Jesus (or are following not Jesus, or have not experienced Jesus, etc.) feel for the first time once they encounter authentic community, strengthened and kindled by the powerful love of Jesus Christ. i sense in myself a curiosity, a want for more. not necessarily for that specific group, or those individuals...but for what I sensed God was doing there. where does that leave me? i thought i knew what genuine community looked like? yet last night, God showed me a whole new picture of it. not to raise or lower anything/anyone in comparison. but the community i experienced last night was new, and different. John 17:22-24 ' " I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one- I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world." ' and where this leaves me this morning: i desire more of Jesus. and i want that to be true and continuous. i want to desire Him even when i don't want to (which in itself doesn't make sense). i want to be more honest with myself in front of Jesus, not only about my short-comings, but about my true desires and trust in Him. because i want to go deeper in my relationship with Him. i want to listen closer to His voice, and to be obedient in what i hear. yet so often i recognize that i am a 'silly ragamuffin,' so unable to grow or improve myself. Jesus is the only one that can do that in/for/with me. if you have a similar hope, ask the one who cultivates goodness and gives good gifts to His children. Jesus make me honest. Jesus make me bold. Jesus make me grow. i've been really thankful this week so far living with the guys in Hamilton for a week. Here's some goodness:
- it has been refreshing that i have not felt like a tourist or a traveller while visiting, but rather a welcomed guest. it always feels super comfortable starting up life again with my friends after i have not seen them all for a while. -seeing the ways that the ben, ben, mark and quin seem to have grown together as house mates...their house feels more like a home - noticing how guys have grown within themselves even throughout the last semester - i've been super blessed by mark's story: i am in awe of what God is currently at work within mark, how he has given him some sweet desires to follow Him as well as a community/group of friends to go forward in power and faith. my friend continues to be so honest and open with the Spirit. - my sister steph g. she recently got back from South Africa, where she was a part of a community and Hillsong churches for the past three months. it's been so delightful listening to her stories of her love of flowers, food and people in south africa, and the bountiful ways that the Lord has been blessing her with rest and His presence - the other night ben, ben, miranda and brando were practicing their music for their show the next night in their living room. what a treat it was to see these folks perform, but also just to sit in their house and absorb their harmonies while their practiced. my favorites. -i had the awesome pleasure of finally visiting the 541 Eatery & Exchange this week (http://fivefortyone.ca/). a project that my friends started is starting to become an anchor in the community for fellowship and food. as i was there i was just so thankful for the convergence of peoples as well as the opportunity for inexpensive really good food for anyone! so sweet. check out the link for more info. - everything that comes out of quin's mouth will probably be hilarious...eithernow or in a few minutes. - today i had the chance to meet over lunch with my camp director mark. it was a good time of picking his brain about camp this upcoming summer, as well as hearing stories from the past. i think i'll be back this summer. - its good to be here. Here are a few snapshots of what I've been up to. Life's felt full spending a week with my good brothers in Hamilton, Ontario. kickin' back with the boys in ben's light-filled green room. cooking up a crafty night with quin and mark. got the chance to get our creative juices while our friends jammed away musical goodness in the other room. ben and timid the brave practice for their show on friday night. pumped to see these guys perform. |
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