There comes times in my week that I come to a startling realization. It can be while I am walking to class. It can be while I am falling into bed after a long day. It can be when I have been wrapped up in homework for a few hours. Usually it hits me after I get a feeling inside of me- a deep ache.
It's the realization that I have forgotten Jesus.
In the past few months it has become apparent to me that I have a very poor selective memory. If I do not actively seek to remember things, I tend to forget them. Many times it is of something that Anna has reminded me ( she's good at calling me out when I forget important things). Other times I forget minor scheduling issues, I forget to follow up with someone after a significant conversation, or I just forget what I am looking for when I'm late for a meeting ( I think that happens to most of us ) .
However, I feel like this memory is different.
This forgetful ache appears when I do not pursue time with my Lord. When I do not sit in quiet and just listen for His voice. When I forget to reflect on his Goodness. When the idea of opening my Bible seems like a lot of work. When I can't remember the last time I thanked Him out of genuineness. When praying seems scary. When I feel plain sad because I miss his Presence.
Yet. The best news in the world is that there is enough Grace, even for me. While I often attempt to justify my posture by the fact that my days are too full, that I have too much to focus on, that I'm too busy. Those excuses seem pretty silly in retrospect once I have spent just a minute with Him. How can it be that I have forgotten my one and true Savior? How can it be that Jesus, who gives me life, is the one that I have avoided. Like a bashful, insecure twelve-year-old, I have lowered my gaze at the Throne out of fear. Do I trust that He desires to be with me even when I have ignored Him?
Then I remember that He is the Prince of Peace. That He is the glorious Lord of the Universe. He is the God Almighty. He is my Creator. He is my Redeemer. The answer to the question becomes clear when I realize who God is. It is a resounding Yes.
Last night at bible study, Paul, Jared, Dave and myself looked at the second half of Ephesians 1. I was challenged to take a part of the scripture from the passage, and to apply it to a continuous prayer for the week. In this part of the letter, Paul is so dang thankful to God for the members of the church in Ephesus.
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better." (Ephesians 1:17).
This is my prayer for myself this week. I want to know Jesus better. I want to trust that his wisdom is far greater than my forgetfulness.
Instead of leaving it at that- I want to instead end in thankfulness. Thankfulness always jars my memory about how Good Jesus is to me.
I am Thankful:
- That God blesses me with full days but good days.
- For a Savior that has redeemed me, and continues to do so.
- For His Spirit that gently reminds me of the ways I need to focus
- For friends that are too dang fun and show me genuine Love daily
- For Anna ( and the grace she shows me, and for the ways she encourages me )
- For the realization that God delights in me, and actually wants to spend time with me.
- For sunshine.
- For the ability to have a physical body that can run multiple miles daily.
- For snow-laden trees, the Chippewa River, and cool winds.
- To be living in Eau Claire with my friends
- And so much more!
Jesus, would you give me your Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that I may know you better.
It's the realization that I have forgotten Jesus.
In the past few months it has become apparent to me that I have a very poor selective memory. If I do not actively seek to remember things, I tend to forget them. Many times it is of something that Anna has reminded me ( she's good at calling me out when I forget important things). Other times I forget minor scheduling issues, I forget to follow up with someone after a significant conversation, or I just forget what I am looking for when I'm late for a meeting ( I think that happens to most of us ) .
However, I feel like this memory is different.
This forgetful ache appears when I do not pursue time with my Lord. When I do not sit in quiet and just listen for His voice. When I forget to reflect on his Goodness. When the idea of opening my Bible seems like a lot of work. When I can't remember the last time I thanked Him out of genuineness. When praying seems scary. When I feel plain sad because I miss his Presence.
Yet. The best news in the world is that there is enough Grace, even for me. While I often attempt to justify my posture by the fact that my days are too full, that I have too much to focus on, that I'm too busy. Those excuses seem pretty silly in retrospect once I have spent just a minute with Him. How can it be that I have forgotten my one and true Savior? How can it be that Jesus, who gives me life, is the one that I have avoided. Like a bashful, insecure twelve-year-old, I have lowered my gaze at the Throne out of fear. Do I trust that He desires to be with me even when I have ignored Him?
Then I remember that He is the Prince of Peace. That He is the glorious Lord of the Universe. He is the God Almighty. He is my Creator. He is my Redeemer. The answer to the question becomes clear when I realize who God is. It is a resounding Yes.
Last night at bible study, Paul, Jared, Dave and myself looked at the second half of Ephesians 1. I was challenged to take a part of the scripture from the passage, and to apply it to a continuous prayer for the week. In this part of the letter, Paul is so dang thankful to God for the members of the church in Ephesus.
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better." (Ephesians 1:17).
This is my prayer for myself this week. I want to know Jesus better. I want to trust that his wisdom is far greater than my forgetfulness.
Instead of leaving it at that- I want to instead end in thankfulness. Thankfulness always jars my memory about how Good Jesus is to me.
I am Thankful:
- That God blesses me with full days but good days.
- For a Savior that has redeemed me, and continues to do so.
- For His Spirit that gently reminds me of the ways I need to focus
- For friends that are too dang fun and show me genuine Love daily
- For Anna ( and the grace she shows me, and for the ways she encourages me )
- For the realization that God delights in me, and actually wants to spend time with me.
- For sunshine.
- For the ability to have a physical body that can run multiple miles daily.
- For snow-laden trees, the Chippewa River, and cool winds.
- To be living in Eau Claire with my friends
- And so much more!
Jesus, would you give me your Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that I may know you better.